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Thursday, May 7, 2009

Those Magical Shoes

" It's my hiking boots that lead me up high mountains in the air. I find my spot on the tippy top and shout, "hellooo down there!" Put on your shoes and become a superstar athlete, daring mountaineer or an adventurous pirate! "
- from My Shoes Take Me Where I Want to Go by Marianne R. Richmond

A few weeks ago I was shopping at Walmart when Lo sitting "patiently" in the cart started pointing wildly at something shouting "apatos""cars". It took me a few minutes to realize he was pointing at the Zapatos(shoes) Cars or in normal tongue "Car Shoes" hanging on the rack. They were a cute pair of "Batman Batmobil crock style shoes" I looked at him and looked at them and thought ok...if it will keep him busy I'll give the shoes to him while I shop then quietly slip them out of the cart before it's time to pay. Knowing the mind of a 2 year old I realized that this "interest" would be short-lived and last long enough to finish our shopping and leave the store without any major "meltdowns" or so I thought...
I became so preoccupied with my shopping list and the subsequent peace that I didn't realize that Mr. Lo had taken off his other pair of shoes and was now wearing his car shoes. It was now getting closer to the register when I realized it was time to pay and he was fixed on these shoes. I made a couple of attempts at removing them only to have him let out some screams that would put a banshee to shame and so I was at an intersection in parenting.
Now let me reiterate the fact that I taught for 7 years at some of the most interesting inner city schools you can find, I was always one of those people that said, "I will NOT give in to my child's fancies ,because I don't want them to turn out like THAT Child" and so this moment became one of those forks in the road that so many of us get to and realize is this battle worth fighting. So I looked at the price and I looked at the shoes, I looked at him, looked at the line behind me and though. Ok. I will get them. Now many of you are thinking Sucker! Spoiler! You gave in! But here is my reasoning. He needed a new pair of summer crocks (last years pair were not only worn down to the rim but were also 3 sizes too small & I had luckily grabbed his size) but I also thought at this moment in our lives I can give him this, I can give him this pair of shoes and it will make him happy. I thought of how God has blessed us so much and if a pair of shoes will make my son so happy and we can do it than you know what, I will.
What's made me feel even better is the fact that he has not taken those shoes off for the past few weeks (except of course to go to bed and even then he has fallen asleep with them a couple of times) So it made me start thinking about the fact that so many times children get lovies or binkies or something that they hold on too and won't let go of as a sense of comfort or a security yet most children are pretty secure within themselves. They express occasional fears of things that are unknown, but in all children tend to seize life and not look back or worry about the "consequences” of things. To my Lo these shoes must have been that sense of security. As children grow older they let go of those securities (binkies,blankets,etc...)Yet become more insecure, worried so much about what others will say or think or do. In a sense that fear is good for some learning reasons but in a sense it's sad that children loose that wide eyed excitement for things. It seems in the past few years children are loosing that excitement, that sense of innocence too quickly. It seems our kids are growing up too fast. Why is that? Do we blame TV? Society? School? Parents? Or do we just blame ourselves? Are we pushing our children to grow up to fast or are we setting them up to situations that are making them grow up to fast? What in Society is making our kids grow up too quickly? Why is it 12 year old girls in the 70’s&80’s were busy playing with dolls yet in the now are busy thinking about boys? What is it?
At night I put Lo to bed and most nights he falls right to sleep, but there are those occasional nights where he will stand at his door and want one of us to snuggle with him while he drifts off to dreamland. At times I know I have to stop myself from looking at the watch because he hasn't fallen asleep yet but then I stop and think, in a few years he won’t want us to snuggle let alone be in the same room with him! So point being let's love our children, take time to cuddle and embrace them, make them feel loved (without spoiling of course) but lets let them be kids. As I look at Lo walking around right now wearing his Batman shoes I realize that he must find himself being unstoppable and who knows he might think he is Batman or some super hero with those shoes. If it means my little boy will have that innocence and that desire to be who he is for a little longer I’m ok with that. If it meant taking that fork in the road.. I know I will have to be careful in the future but for know I will enjoy the journey on this path.


Lerin said...

I don't know why our children (especially daughters) are growing up so quickly now. I think it is the product of a corrupt society, a culture that continually denies the dignity of the human person. I hope I can guard my children's hearts... I hope I can LET THEM BE LITTLE for as long as possible.

As for the shoes... they're cute. :) Sometimes we do have to stand oiur ground and make sure we are not giving into tantrums. Other times, we can give our children a bit of "undeserved" blessing and grace... justas God sometimes does for us out of His unconditional love. :)

Mom E said...

Yes,It's a question that has been more and more on my mind since I had children. It's very scary. I just pray that God will help me make the right decisions.
You are right about how God does the same for us by giving us undeserved blessings. Thank you so much for your comments!

Party of Eight said...

Well said! And cute shoes! I agree, we need to choose our battles. Yesterday, we ate cookies first thing in the morning. Do we do that everyday? Heck no!

Cecilia said...

Now.. If my guy saw Thomas.. we are in big trouble! God bless! Thanks! :)

lolit said...

i can relate to you Mom E! sometimes even if it is not in the budget, still we want to give what our kids wants, yes we could not help to be a spoiler sometimes.

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"Never has the devil found such fertile territory upon which to work as in this era when his very existence is denied by so many" - St. Padre Pio