A week ago I gave you all the amazing news that I was pregnant and expecting our 4th child in June. However God had different plans for us. A couple of days ago I began spotting and after various blood test and what not it's been determined that God decided this little soul was not meant to join us after all. The only reason I even have the strength right now to write is because I am feeling so much that no one understands. I am besides myself with complete sadness and I have to say that until you go through miscarriage you can not understand it. I am however in complete awe and appreciation to all my amazing friends and family that have sent prayers my way. They are giving me the strength to get through this incredibly sad experience.
I feel honored because God thought me valuable enough if for a few weeks to carry this special little being in my womb. It's amazing how I could love something the size of a kidney bean so much. I've had a lot of well meaning people tell me "better now than later on" and I have to say maybe for the simple fact that what's weighing heaviest right now is that this little soul will not receive the waters of Baptism. I think that is what is causing me the most grief and I pray to God that for some reason Baptism of Desire does exist and that my desire for this little baby's baptism is so strong that he in his mercy will grant that request somehow. Please keep me in your prayers. This is an extremely hard time but I know that your prayers will help me get through this time.
6 comments:
Praying for you.
I have been through this, and it is very hard. I absolutely believe in Baptism of desire and have no doubt that our innocent babies are safe with our heavenly Father right now. I will be praying for you. God bless you.
Jennifer,Thank you so much!!!
Oh, my heart and prayers go out to you. I've been there. The amazing thing is that love that's there, which proves it is so much more than people will ever understand, it's a soul, a gift given to you and because of your openness to God's precious gifts, He has another soul with Him.
When we miscarried, we baptized what we thought was the baby, but it wasn't, and basically just baptized the toilet. That, to this day is still one of the hardest things. I believe in Baptism of Desire and believe these miscarried babies are with our Heavenly Father and Blessed Mother. A perfect soul waiting, praying and blessing for us.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby. In 2009 I lost two babies back to back (one ectopic, one 2nd trimester) and the pain, emptiness, and loneliness is just awful. I do believe my babies are Saints in Heaven, and knowing that they are wrapped in our Blessed Mother's mantle gives me a lot of comfort. love and prayers for you.
I am so so sorry for your loss!! I had a miscarriage too; you are not alone.
Here is my story Please read it because there's a prayer in there that I think will really help. I know you're a Catholic like me so please take comfort in know that even though your baby did not receive the waters of Bapitsm, he or she IS in heaven with God. Our Church teaches this! Unborn babies are no longer thought to be in limbo or anything like that just because they weren't baptized. God is merciful and loves every life He creates. Your baby is in heaven praying for you. You can talk to him or her.
Big big hugs!!
Jamie
For Love of Cupcakes
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