I know we live in a highly sexual society. One that puts stock on selling sex and beauty. One where modesty is not welcomed or embraced. I get that. I know we live in a society that places a stamp of beauty on a fashion magazine with a naked model in the front who has strategically placed pillows or hands so as to be able to make it to the grocery store aisle. Yet me a mother who chooses to give my child golden liquid always feels uncomfortable or cautious when breastfeeding in public.
How has our society norm become such? I know breastfeeding has always been something private and at one time even frowned upon. However, as educated as our society is, we know that feeding a baby breast milk is one of the most important things a mother can do. Just the nutritional content alone is enough to make even the harshest critics turn and scurry. Sadly, you always hear it on the news "Mother gets asked to leave because she's nursing her baby", "Mother is asked to breastfeed in bathroom" the list goes on and on. Why? Why must we be made to feel like we are the college teen trying to take a hit of pot while their parents are in the other room or the little boy stealing a cookie from the cookie jar? When all we are doing is feeding the most fragile of our kind,with something so spectacularly valuable.
Religiously,even for those that follow Christianity, know there are statues of the Blessed Mother as "Our Lady of La Leche" nursing an infant Jesus. An image many have and love because of it's natural and simplistic beauty showing this natural act surpassing even the supernatural.
Yet...a nursing mom will get glances, looks or comments. Yesterday I took my uncle to the doctor for a check up and as I waited in the waiting room of the medical building 4.0 became cranky and I knew it wast time for him to eat. There were quite a few people around me including a mom with little kids with a baby 4.0's age. I found it amusing that around the same time I put 4.0 to nurse she took out her bottle to feed her little man. Even though her kids were being loud and she even yelled at the kids using some choice language, I was the one getting the dirty looks from the middle aged woman sitting to the side of us. I was the one that got the creepy looks from the man sitting on the other side of the waiting room and most importantly I was the one that felt extremely uncomfortable feeding my little guy.
This isn't a problem based on what I'm doing, why I'm doing it or where I'm doing it. It's more of a problem based on how as a society we no longer place the value of an item where it should be. Breasts were made to feed. Yet, now cleavage is king. Sex Sells and Breastfeeding moms get grouped into deviancy categories. We are doing something amazing! We are making food for our child using our bodies. A super food that Science can't even replicate. We are amazing because no matter who or what you did you are creating something so amazing to help your little one grow, be strong and healthy.
So I ask you mothers out there, that are like me and feel uncomfortable and vulnerable when nursing, to take up in arms as sisters. If you see a nursing mother...smile. If you see a nursing mother struggling, help them. If you're a nursing mother know that there are many who feel like you do and value what you do. We all have to come together and appreciate this gift we have been given. Show everyone the value of what we are doing and most importantly find within ourselves the pride and satisfaction of this job we have been given;To feed these precious little beings we gave life to with the most amazing super food out there....this commitment will follow them forever. So stand proud and be strong breastfeeding mama. You are awesome!
*I should add, I know nursing isn't for everyone or medically possible for some. I am not trying to knock you or attack you in this article. I am just voicing out for those moms like myself that have felt bad for doing something so natural as breastfeeding.
23 comments:
I am currently breastfeeding baby #3 right now and I have never had anyone say anything to me when I have nursed in public. If they did I would not have been impressed though. It makes me sad that women get harassed for doing something so natural and nurturing for their children.
It is sad that we even have to feel this way when we are just trying to do what is best for our children.
Thanks to posts like this and lots of encouragement, I was able to breastfeed my second anywhere without a cover but still being modest about it. Love that you're raising awareness about how we shouldn't e afraid to nurse in public.
I've never seen that image of the Mary and Jesus before. I love it! I'm very fortunate to live in a part of the country where breastfeeding is very acceptable. I haven't ever received stares or been made uncomfortable. I do feel a little awkward sometimes, but my feeling of comfort has increased with my confidence in feeding discreetly.
I think it's sad that we live in a society that doesn't accept and support breastfeeding 100%. I wonder just how many more moms would succeed at their breast feeding goals if we lived in a more supportive society...
I'm like you. I prefer to cover when I nursed my daughter. I just wasn't comfortable showing the bottom of my chest in public. I honestly can't remember a time that I got dirty looks, though. I always tried to be discreet, not because I'm ashamed, but mostly out of personal preference for modesty. I'm glad that federal law protects nursing mothers, regardless of their preferences on modesty. A child's health is the biggest concern, after all.
Isn't it a beautiful picture, ready to remind us how natural this process is!
Thank you so much for your input so true!
It stinks how hard it takes to get to that point doesn't it?
I hope it doesn't and people can realize how terrible it can be :(
It has!! Thank you for your kind words and for stopping by!
So true! Thank you so much for stopping by!
That's a beautiful image of the Blessed Mother feeding the infant Jesus! I guess it's a good reminder to all of us nursing mamas who might feel a bit uncomfortable when being stared at that what we're doing was done by the Mother of God herself.
No woman should ever be frowned upon for feeding her baby, whether by bottle or at the breast.
I'm thankful to never have been given dirty looks while nursing, but I always smile at those moms that I pass who are nursing because I know those dirty looks have likely found them at some point (and I'm sure my time is coming eventually!)
Thanks for writing this. I'm constantly amazed when reading those crazy headlines too. I think it all depends on the climate of the community. I used to live in a tiny community north of where I live now and I don't know if I ever heard a negative comment (other than from my MIL. Thankfully she lived a few hours away at the time.) or received a dirty look while nursing my babies, and I nursed them everywhere. Oh wait, I did get a look of utter shock one time when I was walking and nursing my son at the mall in a sling. I was on an escalator and a female a couple of steps above me turned around and looked right into my sling.lol. It was pretty funny actually. I rarely used a blanket to cover with because my babies just rip them off and flail them in the air anyway.lol. I used to use nursing tops, tanks and even those Belly Band thingys. Sometimes, like I mentioned before, I'd nurse him in the sling and strategically position the tail. Hmm, come to think of it maybe that's why I didn't get much reaction... most people didn't even notice I was doing it.
It really is ridiculous when even in this country where most people claim to be Christians of one form or another, we've detached from our roots. The Bible speaks about breasts and nourishing our babies. A woman even stood up and in front of a crowd said to Jesus- blessed is the womb that carried you and the breasts that nursed you. Jesus wasn't disgusted by that statement. He went on to make his own point but he never chastised the woman for openly speaking about bearing children and breastfeeding the way she did.
I also love seeing pictures of Mary nursing baby Jesus. :) It's really cool. I think I'm going to print out some cards to hand out to nursing moms in public. Just like you said, we've got to support each other.
So true~ I don't understand this shock and horror about a woman breastfeeding. Generally, you see so much more from regular t-shirts, let alone Victoria's Secret Ads. Additionally, how are young women (and older) supposed to learn how to breastfed without watching other women? I also don't see why it matters if children see it. Breastfeeding is a normal, natural part of life. Yes, there are people who have difficulties breastfeeding, but the vast majority should be able to do so with the necessary support.
Oh my goodness, this has been such a hot topic lately! I LOVE women that nurse in public. Not in a creepy way. I keep hoping if our younger people see a mom nursing it be become 'normal'. You see more breast exposed at the beach than from a nursing mom. Rock on mamas.
I am a mother of 5 and partially breast fed 4 of the 5. my youngest wants nothing to do with a bottle:) It is a shame that mothers cannot go into our "open" society and breastfeed. I do and really no longer care about others feelings towards me. They make no decisions for my baby and will not allow them to dictate what, how, or when she is fed. It did take me to get thru my 4th child to feel this way:)
So true!
Thank you!! <3
I agree, I am just not comfortable either. So happy you've never experienced it. It's not fun :( Thanks for stopping by!
Great article. I hate the dirty looks too. Get them all the time. I gave up on feeling uncomfortable. I just stare at the person giving dirty looks and just smile.
I was surprised considering I live in FL but I guess some things are just too much for people. lol
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