My blog has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 6 seconds. If not, visit
and update your bookmarks.

Monday, September 12, 2011

In Defense of MY Right to Bear Children...

To Whom it may Concern:

Eight years ago my husband and I made the following vows before God:

"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" Both me and my husband replied YES.

However, it seems that because we have said YES to God we have to continuously answer questions from family,friends and complete strangers(lady at checkout line I'm talking to you!) So here goes. Yes,these are all my children. Are we done having children,Only if it's God's will. I love being a mother and even though I did go to college and had a career before kids,these children are my life and it's the best job I could have ever asked for.

I couldn't do it...

Yes you can do it,you just have to put your faith in God and stop being so scared to trust in him. Are there times when the going gets tough,absolutely! Are there days where a glass of wine is more of a necessity than an option(more times than I would like to admit!) However, I am doing the best job possible to raise beautiful,God loving/fearing children and I don't regret my decision for one minute.

The answer however is clear.
God is perfect & I believe in HIS perfection by doing so my husband and I are trusting his plan and will, not our own.
As humans we don't have full faith in God because if we did we wouldn't question it.
Our way of giving over our complete faith in God and allowing him to write the blueprint and frame of our marriage is by this simple trust in letting him decide our life's path for us. As human beings we want to trust God,we all do! But we are too scared! Be it by financial fears,social fears, or even fear in the unknown or what might happen we don't realize that by handing over one of our "decisions,or aspects of our lives"we are actually living more carefree than those who feel they have to control all aspects of their lives.

Do we know more than God?
If you are atheist or don't believe in God than this argument falls on deaf ears,but for those who do believe, is God not great? Does he not know more than us?
When something bad happens people always say his will be done,not my own yet those same people question our decision to trust in God's will and plan when it comes to having children.
How do I know that by preventing a birth I am not preventing God's bigger plan. That I'm not giving birth to the person who will cure cancer, be a future president, Pope,or maybe even as simple as the person who cares for us when we are older?
In the book of Jeremiah God tells him"Before I formed thee in the bowels of thy mother, I knew thee" He had plans for him and as hard as Jeremiah had it the Lord walked hand in hand with him and guided him on his journey and just like many before us we place our faith in him and we will let him do the rest.

That being said....

You can roll your eyes,call me crazy,even make fun of me for doing this. Heck, even get the old "there isn't enough resources on this Earth or how will you pay for them all." You know what,let me worry about that. I don't question your 500.00 handbag or your 50,000 car which I am sure you have *earned* Being married,and loving my husband have earned me the right to have all the children God feels he needs to send me and I'm not going to do anything to get in his way.

So next time you question my sanity for having kids or too many, I will questions yours for not having any because you want to live life worry free(and I'm talking to ALL those childless couples I know who would never think about having kids because it might put a *damper* on your social life.) A parent is the biggest gift God could give us here on Earth and to deny yourself of that gift for purely selfish reasons, or let alone judge someone because they DO want to follow God's will is equally ignorant. I wish you nothing but God's blessings and the best in your life. But please remember we all need of each other and to take away from the dignity of human life whether by "choosing and controlling" our own path is the biggest denial you can give yourself. Most important Mothers of a lot of kids REALLY don't care for your ridiculous comments,no matter how funny they may seem to be. We do know how it happened and are glad that God has enough faith in us to allow it to continue on that way.

God bless you always,

Disclaimer: This letter is intended for all those people who always question me about the amount of children I have,why I have children,or why I left my career. It took us 3 years to have our first little guy and I know how hard infertility can be I think that is why to spit in the face of procreation is a sin against nature in my book.


Jamie Jo said...

Amen to all that. Wouldn't you love to print this up and hand it out to every person in every line you are waiting in and people say dumb stuff like that? I just don't understand what gives strangers the right to ask personal questions like these....we wouldn't dare say "Why don't you have any more children?" "Why are you using birth control, do you know it causes a forced abortion?"

They have guilty consciences that's what gives them that "right".

Pray for them.
And prepare yourself, it gets worse, much much worse. My biggest pet peeve question is:

"Are you going to have any more?"
(with a wrinkled up nose, like my kids are disgusting or something)

to which I answer:

"I hope so. It's up to God though."

Conservamom said...

Isn't that the truth? I am about ready to print this out. I also especially like the old wrinkled nose you are having more. What makes me sad is when this statement comes from people who are "Practicing Catholics" I wonder how much of the church they really know about considering they aren't truly following it's teachings. :(

CA Rhoades said...

Thank you for finding my blog so that I could then come here to YOUR blog and read this amazing post!!

We only have our Gemma right now and when people ask me "Is she your only child?" I always say "She's our first, but hopefully not 'only' God-willing." And once at a restaurant our server(who's known us for what, all of 10 minutes??) says to us, "What a cute baby you two made! So are y'all One and Done?"
ONE AND DONE?!?!?!? I had never even heard such a phrase let alone pondered it for one second! Luckily my husband saw my face, and (he's a lot wittier and swifter than I am) immediately responds, "No, we're hoping she's the first of 10 or 12." With a completely straight face! It was awesome!

Aaaanyway, sorry for the ramble... my point is, I'm with ya sister. Children are the ultimate blessing. I know too many couples (friends and family of mine) who have struggled with infertility issues to ever taken the BLESSING of my fertility for granted, or try to shut it off like it's some sort of malfunction.

If God continues to bless my husband and I with more children, I will be SO grateful for each and every one!

Conservamom said...

HAH! That is an awesome response! I stink because I am not as witty as I would like to be when I respond to people. Especially strangers. I should be right now considering all the comments I get..oh so you have the pair and then one? Are you closing the factory? Really a factory??lol People are dopey! Thanks for coming by!

Rachel said...

Please vote for my mom on her blog!!!

Catey said...

I love this post! Every little thing you said rings so true. Ironically I read another blog today where someone was defending her choice (and her husband's) to remain childless and the comments that all echoed everything she said. It made me so sad....all those people who don't understand the amazing blessings they are missing out on!
Thanks for stopping by my blog, I'm so glad to have found yours now! :)

Conservamom said...

Those posts kill me! They are so offensive to the human race in general! lol Thanks for stopping by! :)

Take $5 off your first order with coupon REF10

Take $5 off your first order with coupon  REF10
"Never has the devil found such fertile territory upon which to work as in this era when his very existence is denied by so many" - St. Padre Pio